


Love Crime

by Pizzapig



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Cute, Domestic, Family, Feels, Heartbreak, M/M, Memory Loss, Murder Husbands, Spoilers, spoilers in tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:50:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7056937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pizzapig/pseuds/Pizzapig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Will Graham survived the ending of wrath of the lamb? What if he survived the fall? What would he do and who would he be. Also what if Hannibal was also there? Except its not the same Hannibal Will once knew and now theyre married. Could Wills life get any more strange?</p>
<p>From Wills point of view but please dont let 1st person POV put you off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Love crime

Your life is made up of a series of choices. As small as deciding to brush your teeth today and as momentous as the decision to follow the devil into darkness. Well maybe the last one more applies to me then you. Although, it can hardly be noted as a decision really more of an accumulation of events leading to a final conclusion. 

“Are you coming?” the silver tongued man asked. This was the decision there was no coming back from. The final damnation of my soul if you believed in that type of thing. I picked up the gun that the dead cop no longer needed. It would be so easy to pull the trigger now and escape the clutches of the devil. One more dead body. 

I could not do it. The truth stung, I still needed Hannibal. A guide to steer the way through the chaos and carnage that was my life. Tucking the gun in the back of my pants I climbed into the car after the devil.

The first time I met Hannibal was uncomfortable. He saw me the way only a highly trained eye would a clinical description. As time wore on there was something different about Hannibal. He had a clear direct approach I had liked. An understanding that was comforting. It was an insight I couldn’t quiet dismiss as easily as I could Jacks near misses. I never intended for us to become more than professional colleagues. I never planned to let him as close as to become friendly and much more. Hannibal had crept into my life like a slowly creeping fog until we were all too familiar with each other. I had trouble determining where I began and Hannibal ended.

Each person is a piece of his puzzle ready to be manipulated into place. I am god-like but not godly. I am not alone Will is my perfect protégée just like me. When we are together I am normal. This is Hannibals design. This is Hannibals biggest downfall. Hannibal believed he had me, a carbon copy of himself. Although, what he neglected to factor was that I could never be Hannibal, no matter how he manipulated me.  
The bloody scene we created had macabre beauty to it, a finale goodbye. A poetic ending. The beauty faded when I realised the game was over. I was dying. I was the only one ever capable of being Hannbals equal. Without me he was nothing without him I was nothing. We were far too gone to survive without each other. This is why Hannibal let himself go over the edge of the cliff with me clung tightly as we sank into oblivion. 

“Sir calm down. You are safe. Someone fetch a doctor!”  
A sharp prick of pain of pain invaded my arm and the world faded away. 

The next time I awoke my head was foggy but I was no longer so confused.  
“Sir, do you know where you are?”  
“Judging by my surroundings a hospital.”  
“Can you be more specific?” professional he ignored my sarcasm.  
I shrugged my shoulders. I wanted him to leave so I could lick my wounds and count my sorrows in peace.  
“That’s fine there’s bound to be confusion. You weren’t making much sense the last time we spoke. You’re in Delmont hospital.”  
“Delmont?” I had never heard of it before. I didn’t care.  
“Yes, A Mr Jack Crawford signed you in but he has not been seen since the initial drop off and has been out of contact since.”  
“Try him at this number.” I said listing Jacks number and hoping he would leave.  
“That’s the number we have on file.”  
“That’s strange.” Jack never left his phone in case the bureau tried to contact him. “If it’s possible to make a few calls, I can find out where he is.”  
“The phone is by your bedside but before I go I am required to ask one more question.”  
I held back a sigh. Doctor please fuck off.  
“You were brought in with another man but we cannot identify him. Do you have any idea who our John Doe could be?”  
“Im sorry, I do not.” Now please leave.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
“Alana.”  
“Will. Thank god. We all assumed that Hannibal had got to you.” She was genuinely upset and for a moment I was reminiscent of what was and could never be again.  
“I am fine Alana.” I lied “I was just wondering if you had heard from Jack recently. I’ve been trying to get a hold of him.”  
“You haven’t heard?”  
“Heard what?”  
“I’m so sorry Will but Jack has passed away. It was a car crash.”  
“A car crash?” It was almost laughable something so mundane would take out the great Jack Crawford a feat that not even Hannibal Lecter himself could achieve.  
“He was drunk Will. It’s all over the news a huge scandal. After his wife passed I just think it was all too much for him to handle.”  
Jacks death was another one that would now weigh heavily on my conscious. Jack would feel responsible for my condition. He had driven me to it everyone said it. A known drinker Jack would have gone straight for the bottle. I looked at the dates in the newspaper next to me, it checked out. 

The effort of sitting up and holding a conversation was too much and I collapsed back onto the bed.  
“I have to go Alana.” I said “Thankyou for telling me.”  
“Look after yourself Will.” She was worried.  
“You too Alana.” I said hanging up  
A deep longing settled in my bones to be rid of the aftershock. I could bear the pain it was the scaring less visible that was the problem. I longed for the Will Graham that once was, an innocent who’s biggest problem was the inaccuracies in a museum. If I met him now we would walk past each other and barely recognise each other. I had at least defeated Hannibal Lector, it was my only comfort and biggest grievance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait but I've had a lot of personal issues going on at the moment and I haven't felt up to editing. In this chapter will sees Hannibal again. Read to find out more......

Chapter 2  
The doctors refused to let me leave my room but the ache in my back from the hospital bed said differently. As I paced my room the white of the hospital room reflected back my own dark thoughts. My mind drifted to where it usually did Hannibal. That dreaded night. The walls felt like they were enclosing in on me so I decided to visit the John Doe housed in the room next to mine. I hoped he could provide a distraction in this drab hospital.   
I stood glued to the doorway in shock. It was as if there was an invisible barrier preventing me from entering the room. Hannibal Lector was lying there. A vulnerable unconscious Lector wrapped up in bandages and hooked up to breathing devices, he was helpless. It would be so easy to finish what I started. Movement entered my body as I took a step of intent into the bland room and approached his defenseless body. The ventilator hissed as it pushed life into Hannibal’s inert form. I couldn’t do it. In this vulnerable state Hannibals expression was free from malicious intent it would be like killing a defenseless child. Tasteless. It was Cold blooded murder and not even Hannibal would stoop this low.   
“He hasn’t woken up since we brought him in.” I nearly punched the nurse as she creeped up behind me. I was too immersed in the horror of seeing Hannibal again.   
“im sorry to disturb you. Ill come back later, there’s a chair over there if you want to take a seat. I’ll leave you to it.” She didn’t ask if I knew him, I suppose it was written on my face. I was thankful for the solitude. I sat down and the regular sound of Hannibals breathing machines lulled me to sleep. 

I felt a warm hand trace my face, slowly bringing me back to consciousness.   
“Hannibal?” I sleepily registered.  
“Morning Sweetheart.”  
Sweetheart!? I was instantly awake quickly backing up from my tormentor, friend, psychiatrist. Whatever label you wanted to add.   
“What’s wrong darling? Please be careful or you will rip your stitches.”  
Had I gone insane? Was I stuck in a parallel universe? In what world would Hannibal be talking so nicely to me after what I had done? In what universe would Hannibal be calling me pet names? Either I was insane or he was. These days it was hard to tell.   
“Is there something wrong?” The nurse from before entered the room. Her brow was furrowed worse than the grand cannon. She rushed over when she saw what must have been the sick look on my face and Hannibal’s concerned one.   
“I not too sure nurse, William here seems a bit confused.”  
Since when did he call me William? We were much more personal than that.  
“What’s your game Hannibal?” He was trying to manipulate me again.   
“I’m sorry.” He said appearing upset “I do not know what you mean.”   
I stormed out of the room. It was too much to process. Hannibal was acting strangely. I knew how to handle the old Hannibal. I was prepared for it but this version was too much.   
“Will Graham.”  
I reluctantly stopped turning to face Hannibal’s doctor.   
“Can we talk?”  
“Is that not what we are doing?” I replied.  
“In private.”  
“Do I have a choice?”  
“Of course you do.”  
I followed him into his office anyway.   
“Will why didn’t you tell us you knew our John Doe?” he accused.   
“I wasn’t sure it was him.” Or I didn’t want it to be him.   
He gave me a look of doubt but didn’t prod. “Hannibal has what we call post-traumatic amnesia. We’re not sure how permanent it is but we have examined his injuries he has received significant brain damage. It is likely at this point he may never recover his memories.”   
“He won’t remember anything?” I said shocked. A cold shiver ran down my spine.   
“I’m sorry Will but based on Hannibals CAT he has significant trauma to the area surrounding the Hippocampus. It is recommended someone is contacted immediately who can provide Hannibal with the type of care he needs. He will be highly confused for the first few weeks and as he will not remember even the basics such as his pin number. He will need someone who knows him well enough to remind him of his past and support him with the trauma of his current memory loss. I assuming your relationship to Hannibal is not familial can you think of anyone like that Will?”  
I was offended at his assumptions even though I had no reason to be “He has no one. His family is dead and his social circle is small. He was a very independent person.”  
“May I ask what is your current relationship to Hannibal Will?”  
“uh,” how could I explain what Hannibal and I have, friend, psychiatrist, colleague, so many descriptions and non the right one.  
“I see.” He said writing something down. What did he see? What was I missing?  
“I will note that Hannibal will be in your care. Is that okay?”  
“uh”  
“Unless there is anyone else who will take responsibility for him?”  
I sighed “There is no one else.”  
“One more thing will before you go Will.”  
“What is Hannibal’s last name?”  
“Sorry?”  
“What is Hannibal’s last name?” He looked at me like I was stupid.  
I couldn’t give him Hannibals real last name, I unthinkingly called Hannibal by his first name in the room so I couldn’t change that. They had retrieved my full name from my wallet but Hannibal had no identifying information on him and I now had control on any further identifying information they received.   
“Graham.” I mumbled the first thing that came to my mind and rushed out of the room before he asked anything further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment or leave kudos


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will gets released from hospital.

Chapter 3  
I hadn’t been able to see the amount of wires coming from Hannibal last night, the alien sight was disturbing in clear daylight. Hannibal had caught the worst of the fall saving me from the worse. 

“Will, you should not be out of bed.” He reached out for me and I moved away. “Gossip spreads quickly around here, why didn’t you tell me the truth?”  
“Tell you what?” I asked confused.  
“I did not know we are wed.” He said casually sitting up on the bed hiding the pain. Even in his state he refused to appear vulnerable.   
“I did not think it important to mention.”   
The accident had made it harder for him to conceal his emotions because there was no mistaking the look of betrayal that crossed his face.   
“Will, can I ask you a question? With the promise you will answer me honestly.”  
“Would it matter if I refused?”  
“Of course Will.”  
“Just ask me Hannibal. I will answer honestly.”  
“Were we not on good terms before…” he said referencing our conditions and buying himself time.   
“I don’t know what we were.” I said honestly.  
“Okay.” He said cryptically.   
“Just ask your question Hannibal.”  
“Was the accident my fault?”   
“Yes.” I said leaving the room “but it was also mine.”

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬-__________________________________________________________________________________  
The hospital refused to dismiss me for 2 weeks and even then not until I had someone to pick me up. I begged a favour from Alana who reluctantly agreed to pick me up.   
“Thank you Alana.”   
“You’re been suspiciously quiet Will. This is the last time I’m going to see you isn’t it?”  
“She had known me for too long to know when I was saying goodbye.”  
“I’m sorry Alana, for everything.”  
“It was not your fault Will. He was a psychopath and now he’s dead. I say good riddance, the best we can hope for is to move on. I understand if for you that means never seeing us again.”  
“I was not blameless in this Alana. It is all too easy to lay all the blame on Hannibal. Yet we cannot ignore our individual contributions. A snake in a lion’s den is only effective because it is not spotted. In is allowed to whisper in the lion’s ears.”  
“It is not unreasonable to assume we can trust those closest to us Will. Please don’t blame yourself.”  
“Take care of yourself Alana. I wish you well with Margot and your child.” With that I walked away from her. I refused to look back lest I see the remorse in her eyes.   
__________________________________________________________________________________  
It was another 2 weeks before I saw Hannibal again. I received a phone call early in the morning from the hospital informing me that Hannibal was ready to be realised under strict orders for me to take care of him. The nurse was annoyed at me for lack of presence in my “husbands” life but I didn’t care. Hannibal’s smooth talking had charmed all the nurses heart. It was like walking into a wolf den and I was the sheep. I lost count of all the dirty looks and whispers I received behind my back. I signed the release papers and accidently tearing a hole in the paper.   
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled. “Do you have another form?”  
The nurse sighed and slammed a new form on the paper. I quickly filled out the new form and retrieved Hannibal from where he was seated. I maintained a fast pace till we reached the car glad to be rid of the judgemental stares.   
The Car was shabby, bright green, and rusted in places. It wasn’t much but it had only broken down twice and was cheap so I wasn’t complaining. Hannibal meanwhile had a lot to say about the “atrocious” vehicle.   
“William did you always have trouble with taste or did the accident bring out the worse in you?”  
“Firstly, it’s Will not William. Secondly, you don’t like it, buy a better one. Oh I forget this was the best we can afford.” I would have never dared be so snappish with Hannibal before but things had changed and this pale imitation of Hannibal wouldn’t intimidate a fly.  
“I am sorry Will. I will keep my opinions to myself from now on.”  
I exhaled slowly with defeat. If I was angry before I was no longer now. It’s hard to stay mad at Hannibal when he wasn’t even himself. His dignified clever fighting spirit was lost with his memories. I was a stranger to him and yet he was forced to trust me. Hannibal put his welfare in my hands on no more than the promise we were married. With no guarantee what type of person I was. He had started off this new life on a lie and I didn’t have the heart to break the only assurance he had in a world of confusion and doubt.   
“I am sorry Hannibal for not visiting you in the hospital.” I doubted my own sincerity behind the apology but Hannibal seemed to accept it. The rest of the drive Hannibal was uncharacteristically quiet lost in thought.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
It was when we stopped for fuel that Hannibal got bold enough to ask the question that I assumed had been bothering him the whole drive.   
“Will if I may have the audacity to ask, how did we end up with so numerous injuries?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it Hannibal.” I hadn’t thought of that lie yet. I couldn’t imagine something so elaborate to explain this away.  
“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it the trauma is still fresh in your mind. May I suggest an alternative approach. I will propose a theory and you can tell me if I’m correct or not?”  
I nodded, Hannibal would not let this go if I did not agree to this. He was a feral rabid dog, hungrily devouring any information that I gave him in an effort to reconstruct his identity. Once I hinted at something he would not let it go, grasped so firmly in his unwavering jaws.  
“Judging by the state of this vehicle, it is newly purchased, am I correct?”  
“Correct.”  
“You are not the type of person who would be so careless with his possessions. If you had time you would wait and save up for a better car unless you needed one as soon as possible. Therefore, If it’s a new car something must have happened to the old one. Correct?”  
“Correct. Where you going with this Hannibal?”  
“Patience Will is a virtue. I believe the reason we are injured is because we were involved in a car accident. A very bad one. It can see you are blaming yourself. Were you driving Will?”  
“Your injuries are my fault.” Hannibal was constructing his own story and I didn’t even have to do anything to encourage him.   
“Will believe me, I do not blame you for my condition. Accidents happen all the time and they’re no one’s fault unless they deliberately crash into something. You didn’t do that did you Will?”  
“No.” I said “I did not deliberately crash a car.” Guilt eating me up. I had not crashed a car but I had pushed Hannibal off a cliff.   
“I see that is not enough. I forgive you Will. I love you. This is not your fault.”   
If he knew what he was forgiving me for he would not be so forthcoming with forgiveness. My mind suddenly did a 360 as I realised what he had said. Love? When had that ever come into the equation?  
“uhm Hannibal there’s no need to feel compelled to tell me you love me if you don’t feel it. I know you don’t remember anything and that’s okay. You don’t need to force feelings you don’t feel because we are uhm husbands.” I tried not to cringed at the word  
A brief look of hurt flashed across Hannibals face. “I do not say anything I do not mean Will.” He said leaning forward as I stepped back.   
“I have to go pay for fuel.” I said awkwardly walking off into the opposite direction. What the fuck was going on?   
My hands started shaking and I couldn’t stop it. I ran behind the fuel station the acidic taste of vomit hitting my tongue barely missing my shoes.   
I could deal with psychotic murderous Hannibal that was familiar but this was something new entirely. If he was trying to manipulate me again I wouldn’t allow it. When the world was against me I could see Hannibal clearly It was hard to know what Hannibal’s design was here, where I stood. Hannibal was bathed in a thick sightless fog. I couldn’t understand what he gained from lying to me like this. It made me sick to the stomach.   
The smell of vomit hit me again as I unluckily threw up all over my shoes this time.   
__________________________________________________________________________________  
“Where are your shoes?” asked Hannibal confused.   
“Just get in the car.” I said. “It’s a long drive, get some sleep.”  
A self-preservation instinct must have kicked in at my murderous expression and Hannibal had the intellect to stay quiet the rest of the drive home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always don't forget to comment or leave Kudos. Next update within the next few days hopefully


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal and Will move in with each other.

Chapter 4  
The cosy house with peeling red paint was set along the docks. The house had its own rustic charm quietly overlooking the clear blue ocean it wasn’t much but like the car it was affordable. I was watching Hannibal when he walked into the main room, a look of disappointment settled on his face, he walked around the room stopping to examine each of my meagre possessions. Hannibal then disappeared into the bedrooms. I saw him disappear into the first then hurry into the second room. I was hanging my coat up alongside Hannibal’s when I heard the sound of shattering glass. I ran to the second bedroom to see Hannibal throwing my new fishing ornaments at the wall.  
I knocked softly on the painted red wooden door the previous owner had been a fan of red. Hannibal turned slowly, embarrassed to be caught acting with indignity.  
“I’ve always hated those.” I said I had brought them at a rumble sale in an effort to brighten up the place. The lady assured me they were “uber stylish” but their tiny smiling face creeped me out.  
“I’ll clean it up.” He said bluntly hiding his flushed face.  
“Hannibal.” I said stepping into the room and prying a shard of bloody porcelain from his hand. Upon investigation I saw shallow cuts marred Hannibal’s hand from where he had gripped the porcelain so tightly. “I have a first aid kit somewhere.” I soothed grabbing him by the wrist and leading him out of the room “Sit” I commanded pushing towards the lounge.  
Sinking into the overstuffed couch I examined his hand. I dug out my pathetic excuse for a first aid kit and retrieved the bandages and well as some disinfectant. I was no doctor but I did the best I could to bandage up the gash like he had done for me so long ago.  
“I apologise for losing my temper.” He said a grim expression settled on his face “I will replace what I have broken.”  
“To tell you the truth I don’t care about those ugly gnomes. I’ve hated them since the day they entered my house. I’m glad you got rid of them before I had to look at them any longer.”  


Hannibal looked at me for a long time studying me before speaking. I presume he was judging if he could trust me or not.  
“In wolf culture, the strongest animals with the most fight are the alphas. When a wolf meets maturity it is driven from the pack, it has lost all its social connections and must fend for itself. If it is not strong enough to survive its pack devours it alive. I thought when I walked in here I would recognise something, find a connection.” He said examining the picture of my dogs I had placed on the coffee table before gently placing it back down. “If I could make one connection I would be part of something and it would be okay.”  
His expression was so heartbroken that I couldn’t help my heart from reaching out to him. “I remember once you did this for me.” I said indicating the medical supplies carelessly thrown on the coffee table.  
“I did?” Hannibal said frowning trying desperately to make a connection.  
“You were much more skilled at it then me.”  
“Was I medical professional?” he said trying to connect the dots.  
“Of sorts.” I didn’t want to reveal too much just yet. I was afraid what it would do to this naive version of Hannibal once the truth was revealed.  
“Was that how we met? When I treated you?”  
“I was your patient but that was not when we first met.”  
“Please Will. Tell me more.”  
“Hannibal.” I snapped immediately regretting it “I’m sorry, I need time.”  
Hannibal’s persistence was giving me a headache. It was difficult trying to figure out what to tell him and what not to tell. I knew Hannibal would not let this go but I needed more time to set my story straight.  
“I should be the one apologising Will. I am a shadow of my former self. I can feel it; you search for who I once was. You have lost more than I can ever understand. I am sorry for being so careless in my questioning. You were betrayed, promised much more than this. I may be sitting in front of you right now but I am no longer myself the man whom you married.”  


I was saved from responding as Hannibal moved in closer and enveloped me into his arms. I tensed as he held me tight like I was the only life line he had. I eventually forced myself to relax less I arouse his suspicions of our true relationship. The familiar spicy smell of Hannibal’s scent lulled me into a false sense of security. I worryingly found by the time Hannibal had pulled away I did not want him to go.  
“You’re wearing an atrocious aftershave Will. Smells like something with a ship on the bottle.”  
“I keep getting it for Christmas.” Jack had made it a tradition to give me presents. I wished he wouldn’t but I had a suspicion his wife made him do it.  
“Why are you crying Will?”  
“What?” I felt along my face and little drops of moisture were streaming down. “I don’t know” I admitted.  
“Sometimes we cry when we are overwhelmed with an emotion that words cannot express.”  
“I thought we were both going to die Hannibal.”  
“You’re mourning?”  
“We didn’t die Hannibal. I should be mourning Jack. Yet I feel nothing for him.”  
“No, we didn’t die Will but I am not the same person you remember. I suspect you have changed as well. After all it is clear to me we do not have the same relationship we had before. You cannot force yourself to feel something or ignore what you feel now. You have been through a lot and you should not feel guilty for not allowing time to grieve for your friend.”  
“You are right I do miss sharing memories with you. You wear his face, talk as he does, but you’re not the same.”  
“I am sorry.”  
“It is not a bad thing.”  
“Did I treat you badly Will?”  
“You were complicated.” I said avoiding the question. “Our relationship was more so.”  
“I cannot apologise for who I one was or what I did when I do not remember myself but I can control who I am now.” Hannibal was so bold as to kiss me twice. Once on each cheek catching the tears I had shed. I froze completely. This was unfamiliar, alien territory, yet I did not mind it. A sinking feeling carved itself out of my stomach as I realised in fact I liked it.  


“I have to start cooking dinner.” I blanched wiggling out of Hannibal grip. “You’ll have to excuse my cooking. I know you’re used to finer stuff. You were always the cook.” I would never trust him to cook for me again. The thought of his ingredients sent shivers down my spine and bile rose. I stopped myself from puking my guts up as I reminded myself who Hannibal really was and how close we were getting.  
“After surviving on hospital food for a month anything you cook with be delicious.”  
“I hope you like fish.” I said holding back my suspicious tone. Fish would be all we will be having for a long time. You can’t make fish look like anything other than fish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n Hannibal may have been watching the nature channel in hospital, at least it’s better than Dr. Phil which he got mildly obsessed with for a few weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal gets suspicious

Chapter 5

I often worked late on the docks so Hannibal threw himself into decorating our little house with a passion. Immediately Hannibal discovered he had an artistic eye for the finer things in life and threatened to spend our meagre savings on our shitty little shack. I immediately regretted discouraging the only thing he had shown enjoyment in since he had awoken. If I was a psychiatrist I would diagnose Hannibal with a mild depression but thank god I wasn’t and now Hannibal wasn’t either. 

In an attempt to make up for my necessary but harsh words I encouraged Hannibal into drawing again. Imitating the world around him regretfully Hannibal took on a creative perspective. Not even I could understand the working behind the disjointed beautiful drawings or maybe I just didn’t want to, I was so sick of analysing Hannibal’s action for the old him it was exhausting. 

It was not long before the seasons changed, the fish coming fewer and finer. The boss Larry would no longer accept any excuse to stay late. Even when I offered to work for free.   
“Whatever problems you got with the Missus don’t bring it here.” He commanded sending me home. If only he knew.   
“Hannibal!” I said raising my voice and knocking on his door. I insisted we have separate bedrooms with the insistence that was how Hannibal had always preferred it. It was an underhand thing to do but it was easy and worked without complaint.   
“Will, you’re home early.” He said putting his drawings away so I couldn’t see them.   
“You haven’t shown me your drawing in a while.” I commented offhand. In his former life Hannibal liked to draw a lot: memories from his childhood, architecture he admired, and the way he would display his victims before committing the act. I hoped he wasn’t starting up his old behaviour.  
“They’re not complete.”  
“You have a lot of drawings there Hannibal. Surely there’s one you can show me.”  
“These drawings are private. I hope you can respect that.”  
“I’m your husband, don’t you trust me Hannibal?” A twinge of guilt went through me as I once again pulled the fake husband card but I was desperate and it was the only thing that came to my mind. If Hannibal was so insistent on not showing me there must be something he was hiding.   
“Of course I trust you Will.” He said carefully grabbing for the portfolio.  
The first pictures I saw were similar to one’s I had seen before; abstract and difficult to decipher. A man reaching for something he couldn’t even touch. The next one was a faceless man standing in a fog with no idea what direction to go. A dark ominous shadow figure was standing in the background waving to the man. The next were innocent enough detailed drawings of the house. The sea beyond. 

 

I almost dropped the next drawing I picked up. They were beautiful pictures of me sitting around the house, perched upon my fav chair, smiling into a mug of coffee, up to my elbows in fish scales and so many more. Happy pictures. I was Hannibal’s new favourite subject. I blushed as I further progressed what were surprisingly accurate portraits of me naked or in compromising positions. Yet they were all ethereally beautiful.   
“I don’t know what to say.” I said lost for words “They’re beautiful Hannibal.”  
“They’re scraps and doodles. I can never quiet capture the beauty of the real subject.” He said moving closer.

It was unexpected as it was crass. Hannibal leaned forward waiting for permission. He would not make a move until I agreed wholeheartedly. I inhaled slowly trying to clear my head. This was the wrong move as I was flooded with Hannibal’s scent. As I released a sweet breath I found myself nodding slowly. I felt Hannibal’s lips capture my own. I tried to pull away to run but I somehow ended up moving closer.   
“Please stay.” He whispered against my skin melting my heart with those simple words bathed in a hint of Lithium accent. I was flawed, covered with cracks for everyone to see and Hannibal knew just where to push. A gentle touch was all it took to break me. I could not deny him this. Not when I had denied him so much more ever since he had first awoken; The truth, his memories, his career, because of me his entire life was a lie. A small smile graced his lips when I kissed him harder more passionately. Surprisingly it was him who pushed me off panting. He grabbed my hand in a firm grip and spoke in a low tone.  
“Why do you never touch me Will? If we are married shouldn’t it be normal? A touch here and there, a kiss goodbye, hello, a hug because you just want to. Yet, you never touch me Will, not even in the most innocent of ways.”  
I exhaled slowly. Rigid as his grip tightened. His eyes were not angry just determined. Hannibal was determined to figure out a truth he didn’t know he was seeking.   
“Where are all the photos Will? If we’ve married why are there no photos of us together?”  
In all the confusion and doubt he’d experienced he’d never once doubted us. I wondered why? Now was he doubting us? Us? There was no us. My lack of denial I suppose was answer enough. It was getting harder every day to lie to him.   
“Please Hannibal stop this. If you continue down this path You won’t like what you find.”  
Hannibal scowled at me storming out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal and will living together so perfectly NOTTT. p.s. sorry it took so long, its been a hectic month

Chapter 6

“Will you have dinner with me Will? I have discovered I have a talent for cooking and would like to make you a dish.” The remark was innocent enough but I couldn’t escape the bitter tone like he blamed me for not telling him of his talent.  
“I’m free Tonight.” I said swallowing past the lump in my throat and immediately regretting my words. The last time Hannibal had cooked me dinner didn’t end too well. 

I swirled the pasta around my fork refusing to indulge in the first meal in months that wasn’t fish.   
“I am sorry if I made something that displeases you Will. I have tried to observe over the past few weeks but do not remember your tastes too well.” His genuine tone caught my attention.  
“Hannibal?”  
“Yes Will.”  
“What are your feelings towards me?” I hoped he didn’t say murder.  
“I have never met anyone like you Will, you are the empathetic person I have met.” I tried not to smile at that comment. “To be honest Will I could never express the gratitude I feel for you. Despite my condition, you have not left me.” He cut off my objections “I see the flighty look in your eyes you think I don’t notice. You’re flawed Will such is the human condition I do not hold it against you. I would rather that you could forgive me for whatever sin I have committed in the past. I believe there is much you’re keeping hidden from me Will. Sometimes I curse myself for being a fool and not leaving myself, yet despite the lies and misdirection I am very much in love with you William Graham.”  
There it was again Love. A clever lie.   
“You don’t love me Hannibal.” I had enough  
“What do you mean?” He had become better at hiding his emotions but there it was again hurt and a little bit of anger.   
“How do you know you love me? You barely even know me.”  
“I know you Will.” He frowned “or I used to. Love, desire, attraction, it is not something you can explain. You’re right Will I do not remember much but you do not need your memories in order to know love.”  
“Are you sure youre not confusing love with something else? I am all you know since waking up it makes sense you would feel some connection to me but I do not think youre in love with me Hannibal.”  
“Will how can I say it more clearly. I love you as the sun sets and rises. As the world spins upon its axis. As you come home every day to me. I love you for so many things and for nothing at all.”  
“It is easy to mix up attachment and love. You cannot love me Hannibal. You do not feel such things.”  
“Do not tell me what I feel William.” I stared him down hoping for any sign of manipulation or lie. “I do not understand why you’re fighting this so hard if we are already “married”.”  
“Hannibal. We were never married.” I shouted  
It was as if his world had shattered into a thousand of pieces.  
“Excuse me?”  
“It was nothing but a regretful lie Hannibal. To protect you.”  
“You’re lying Will.” He said, his hand was clenching the knife on the table. I recognised that old look in his eyes. The beast that haunted my nightmares snorted loudly behind Hannibal shaking its feathered fur.

 

“Will. Will! Wake up!” A sharp sting echoed across my face.  
“Hannibal!” I cried with alarm reaching for my gun.  
“Will! What are you doing?”  
My heart rate slowed and I registered what I was doing. “I’m sorry” I said slowly putting down the gun.  
“Nightmares again?”  
“I’m going to take a shower.” I said shivering as my sweat soaked shirt cooled in the night.

By the time I got back Hannibal had changed the sheets and was passed out asleep on the right side. The same old nightmare replayed itself behind my waking eyes. The wendigo settled in the corner curling itself up to sleep as I pulled the blankets high. Exhausted I crawled into bed making sure to leave a good distance between us. I knew if Hannibal ever found out the truth there would be no going back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal and will get into a fight

Chapter 7  
“Hannibal! What have you done with my gun?!”   
Uncharacteristically he stayed quiet whilst sipping his morning coffee.   
“Hannibal tell me where you have put it!”  
“Do not worry, it is somewhere safe. It’s a matter of public safety, you cannot be trusted with a firearm Will. I thought last night would’ve been the incentive you needed. I shall return the weapon to you when you are stable enough not to accidently shoot anyone.”  
“Hannibal you are no judge of who’s sane right now. I’ve never been saner in my life. Please return my gun.”  
“You are lying to yourself if you believe you’re stable Will; The paranoia; The insomnia; Nightmares or Sleepwalking when you do sleep. Last week you accused Mr Jenkins of working for the FBI. The next night you turned up outside his window.”  
“It was a common mistake………”  
“Will please. I’m worried about you. I’ve called in sick for you today and booked you an appointment, you need to speak to someone.”  
“No head shrinks.” I said angrily tossing my coffee mug unfortunately missing him by inches. I decided to do the adult thing and storm out of the house. 

I ended up where I usually do, working on my junk heap that looked like a boat if you used your imagination.   
By the time I returned home Hannibal was sitting at the table. A look of forged concern upon his conceited face. The house was immaculately clean, the shiny benchtops sneered at me like I was the bad guy. I refused to apologise to that asshole, it was his fault we were here in the first place.  
“I’m not going to a psychiatrist.” I said firmly.  
“Will, I cannot force you to seek medical advice more than I can stop the song birds from chirping every morning, but I refuse to put both our lives in danger by returning your gun.”  
“I’m sorry.” I reluctantly apologised.   
“The only damage was to your coffee mug which I have already replaced.”  
“Not a morning person” it ironically read. I supposed it was Hannibal’s attempt at a joke. “funny.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reminder of the past comes visiting and is all to real for WIll's liking

Chapter 8  
I lived with a constant paranoia, a gun strapped to my leg, another tucked into my jacket. I felt empty, defenceless without either. It was old news, Hannibal was dead, I repeated it to myself. Yet the mantra wouldn’t stop the anxiety from rising up like a fiery beast trailing me. A waking nightmare. The public forgot as they do, they moved on to more interesting things but they never forgave. All it took was an enthusiastic person to say “That man, doesn’t he look like the cheapskate ripper” for it to all be over. My paranoia grew worse as I found out Hannibal had started to leave the house whilst I was at work. I followed him one day to discover he has secured himself a job of his own at the local bakery. He created beautiful designs on the cake and each dish was as superb as the next, a true work of art. As his food gained popularity so did he and it only added more worry to my list. 

Freddie Lounds in my kitchen! It was my worst nightmare becoming true.  
“Oh Will Your home” Hannibal said rising to give me a kiss. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lounds recoil then smile smugly in realisation. I wanted to punch her smug face. I wondered how she found us.   
“I want you to meet our guest Miss Freddie Lounds.”  
“It a pleasure.” I said with a sneer.  
“Hannibal here was just telling me a delightful story about his life here in little Wellfleet.”  
I bit my lip to hold back the scream of frustration. What did he tell her?   
“Please Miss Lounds if you wouldn’t mind it’s been a long day and there’s nothing much of interest to report in our little town.”  
“Oh I wouldn’t say that but I can tell when I’m intruding. Mr Graham if you’ll see me out I have a few things I want to set straight.”   
“Of course Miss Lounds. I’ll be back in a minute Hannibal.”  
“This little charade you’ve got going on is disgusting. Married! To Hannibal the Cannibal. That’s a new low even for you William.”  
“I don’t have to tell you anything Freddie.”  
“I’m pretty sure our readers won’t have the same opinion.”  
“He’s got amnesia. You happy now?”  
“Lector?”  
“Who else? Of course Lector.”  
“That’s hilarious and he thinks you’re “married”, unless you’re actually married.”  
“Of course were not!” The denial expectantly stung my heart but I could not tell Freddie the truth I loved Hannibal.  
“This is federal business and you’re intruding.”  
“Can it Graham. I know every stinking operation the FBI is running and this is not one. At least not an authorised one.”  
“You’re messing with the wrong people Freddie or do you forget the last time you crossed Hannibal.”  
Freddie Lounds actually shivered in fear.   
“I’m not afraid of you Will! nor that shadow you’re shacked up with. Your puppy has lost its bite! It’s one article away from being put down.”  
I grabbed her by the wrist. A flash of fear reflected in her eyes.  
“Will darling, what are you doing? I heard arguing. Will! Unhand Miss Lounds at once.” I unwillingly let go of the troublesome Miss Lounds. “I’m so sorry for my husband’s behaviour. I hope this won’t put you off our quaint little town.”  
“No it is my fault, I have upset Mr Graham here. Thank you for your time gentlemen but I must be going.” With that, any chance I had of stopping her faded away.  
“William!” Hannibal said with a commanding tone reminiscent of who he once was. I froze in place. Had Freddie arriving somehow triggered him? “Enough is enough. You’ve hurt an innocent woman tonight. I’m taking no excuses you must see someone. Tonight.”  
Tonight? A perfect excuse to give miss Lounds a visit “I’ll do it.”  
“Thank you William I’m glad you’ve seen sense.” He said bringing me inside. 

I kissed Hannibal goodbye outside the “psychiatrist” office before he drove off.   
“How may I help you?” the receptionist asked.   
“I’m fine thank you.” I said “I must have walked into here by mistake.” The receptionist gave an understanding nod and I quietly left the office.  
In our small town there was only one possible place Freddie Lounds could be possibly staying. The old inn on 7th street. The hard part was figuring out which room was hers, I had to wait a few hours before I saw the unmistakable flash of red hair as she walked past her window. Lounds cautionary thinking was her downfall, she got a room by the fire escape so she could leave quickly, which conveniently doubled as easy access into her room. 

I waited until she I could hear the gentle snores coming from her room before I entered. Her window was obviously locked but my work at the FBI had taught me numerous ways to get easily and silently past that inconvenience. I opted for lifting the latch with a piece of wire I had stashed in my jacket. The window was oiled nicely so I discreetly snuck into her room. The moment I hit the floor the sound of a trigger locking resounded off the room.   
“One more step and I shoot.” She said pausing the soundtrack on her phone imitating her snores. “Did you think I would be so stupid as to not expecting either one of you maniacs to be breaking into my room tonight?”  
“I knew you weren’t that stupid Freddie yet I could not hazard the risk of you destroying the lives we worked so hard to build.”  
“So that’s how it’s going to be? You haven’t changed at all Will.”  
No hint of fear entered her steel glare.   
“Killing me won’t save Lector. I have already written my piece, its timed to send at 10am tomorrow. One click of a button and I can stop it from reaching my editor.”  
“How do I know you won’t write another piece as soon as I leave?”  
“Theres no doubting I will. You and I both know I cannot pass up an opportunity like this. The deal I am offering here is the opportunity to tell your story your way William. How the world views you and Lector will all depend on you how I frame it. With one headline I can gain the public sympathies or expose the Murder husbands for the sick twisted duo they are.”  
I always hated that headline and she knew it. Hannibal somehow found it amusing. “I won’t play into your game Ms. Lounds not this time.”   
“What choice do you have?”  
None. My options were laid out clear to me but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that.  
“What is stopping me from just killing you right now? And escaping the country.”  
“No matter how far you run William you’ll never be able to escape, exposing Lector for the danger he is will only make it harder.”  
“Okay I’ll do it.”  
“Perfect.” She smiled flashing me a toothy grin.  
“Your life is made up of a series of choices. As small as deciding to brush your teeth today and as momentous as the decision to forsake your life for one deranged man. Well maybe the last one more applies to me then you. Although, it can hardly be noted as a decision really more of an accumulation of events leading to a final conclusion…..”

We stayed up all night as she detailed my story word for word. Adding her own notes and questions in where applicable. She would add her own spin in later. When the sun rose I left each step heavier than the last yet I felt better than I had for days. The knowledge that someone else knew Hannibal Lector was alive was all I needed. It was no longer my responsibility to bear. My phone buzzed with a little while later. A screenshot of Freddie deleting her original article and various threats if I went back on our agreement. All that was left now was to run. 

“What are you doing Will? Its 6am! where have you been?”  
It was obvious he was checking for the smell of alcohol. It was true I stopped by the local tavern but I wasn’t drunk. I needed a clear head right now.   
“Start packing.”  
“Will stop! Look at me. What is wrong?”  
With frustration I stopped what I was doing and faced him “Just pack your stuff okay. I don’t have time for your insistent questions.” The hurt look on his face made me regret my words immediately. “Hannibal.”  
“I’ll go get the suitcases down from the attic.” And with that he left me alone. The silence of my thoughts were more misery than I could bear. I loved this house, this village, and Freddie Lounds was forcing me to leave it all behind; To hurt the man I loved. Winston who Alana had sent us when I needed him most came up and licked away my tears. I hugged his furry body taking comfort in the only stable honest thing in my life.  
“C’mon Winston.” I said “Lets pack your bed.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new change, and the conflict it brings.

Chapter 9

It was too risky to stay in America but international travel was still not an option with our faces still fresh in the minds of government officials. One of us would have made it maybe, but two with Winston was almost an impossible feat.   
“Where are we going?” Hannibal asked for the millionth time.  
“I don’t know.”  
“Why are we leaving?”  
Hannibal had not stopped asking questions for the last hour and it was starting to get to me.   
“The past has resurfaced in the form of a mad woman.”  
“Do you mean your x-wife?” he assumed.  
“Yes” I chose not to correct him.  
We stayed in another small village for a few weeks until we were able to secure passage across on an old cargo ship. The guise of fisherman suited me well if not Hannibal. A distance had opened up between us ever since Freddie Lounds had shown up. Yet neither one of us was willing to cross it. 

Our new home in Vienna did nothing to change this. I did not care for the old beauty, yet Hannibal loved it, he would spend hours sketching the old buildings and longed to visit the operas. Within the first month I declined his carefully crafted proposal as to why he should visit the opera. Hannibal looked like I killed his first born. It only worked to increase the gulf between us. These days it was as if the spirit was gone from Hannibal. He would stare into the flames seeing nothing at all trying so desperately to remember something from his past. I longed for the easy way we would relate back in America. 

“Are you seeing someone else?”  
“What?” I nearly chocked on the tea he had made me.   
“I would rather you tell me plain and simple now, rather than living in uncertainty until the moment I find you in bed with another. I will not be angry with you William if you tell me the truth now.”  
“What makes you think that?” I asked confused.  
“You are working longer hours without cause. I don’t see you days at a time. You come home most days smelling of liquor and won’t even look at me.” I looked up to prove him wrong. He looked tired, and worn, so different from the Hannibal I had met so long ago. Raw as if his flesh was stripped to the bone. Yet he was so simular, He was still immaculately put together, not a hair out of place.   
“I’ve been working late to give you these.” I explained pulling out the theatre tickets. “After the docks I pick up extra shifts unloading the cargo ships, most of those involve alcohol shipments.”  
“I apologise Will.” Well that was new “I regret to tell you I miss our home, I felt like I belonged. I had a job and a purpose. All I have here is time and that does not breed well for the mind.”  
I hugged him and he kissed me for the first time in a long time. The problems of the world melted away for a while, and I remembered why I was doing this. Always, for him..

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are always appreciated. Constructive criticism even more so. Yet I also live for the nice reviews. Questions? Fangirling? Yelling at the author? leave it all below my dearies but please leave your mean comments at home. :) <3 <3 <3


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